Premature ejaculation can certainly take a toll on a relationship. Whether a couple waits until after marriage or not to be sexual, intercourse plays a huge role in the success and happiness of a relationship. Over time, unresolved sexual problems can slowly chip away at a relationship for both partners.
Effective communication is crucial to a healthy long-lasting relationship, however it can often times be difficult for a man to discuss his premature ejaculation concerns with his partner. There is a lot of unnecessary shame that is associated with the condition and many men think that admitting that they have a problem controlling their arousal means that they are less of a man. Not talking about the problem will actually make things that much worse. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and anger can quickly escalate, all of which can make premature ejaculation even worse.
On an evolutionary level, intercourse promotes what scientists call “pair bonding” and it is crucial for a healthy and successful relationship. During sex, and particularly during orgasm, chemicals such as oxytocin and dopamine are released that strengthen the bond between partners. There is an increased feeling of security and trust, as well as an increase in emotional attachment. These bonding emotions are crucial to the strength of a couple. When a man isn’t able to perform as well as he should, both partners not only miss out on these healthy bonding chemicals, but instead are left with negative feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. This can actually make premature ejaculation symptoms even more prominent.
Sometimes premature ejaculation will actually prevent men from pursuing relationships in the first place. The man may actually avoid sexual relationships altogether for fear of rejection or embarrassment. They feel that they can’t adequately satisfy a woman so they just avoid sexual encounters all together. Most men won’t talk about their premature ejaculation, especially with a new partner, so when they do attempt intercourse, the woman often misunderstands why the man can’t perform. Over time avoiding relationships because of premature ejaculation can lead to depression as the man is cutting himself off from other people to avoid his issues.
Men naturally are not apt to discuss any sort of personal problem with anyone else, especially sexual ones. So much of a man’s perception of their masculinity rides on their ability to perform sexually that they don’t want to let anyone know of any performance problems they may be having. If a man is in a relationship however, he has to learn how to talk to his partner. Even men embarking on a new sexual relationship should open up at least a little bit. You don’t have to pour your heart out and tell them every intimate detail about your premature ejaculation, but open up just a little bit. At the same time, their partners need to be patient and understanding. Men in relationships with effective communication often times are better able at resolving their issues than those who cannot talk to their partner.